the heights of new york.

ah, what a beautiful day.

i'm back in brooklyn until tomorrow, getting some of my things packed. after finishing my job, i spent the last week in jersey, taking care of errands, spending time with my family, and planning for med school.

my biggest project right now is preparing to move back home to my family's house for my first year of medical school.
i need to somehow segment the basement and arrange part of it as "my own," as well as clear out my bedroom to make room for all my stuff that's in brooklyn...

::gulp::

this is going to be like merging two homes into one. is that possible?

well, i have to try.

***

i came back yesterday and got started with a bit of sorting and a bit of throwing-away... but it's roasting up here, which makes it hard to move around very much without sweating balls. so i find myself dragging my feet around the apartment, haha.

today i slept in, then made plans to meet one of my best friends, jenna, for brunch in park slope. we got together at miriam and had organic eggs, labneh, salad, pita - the works. mm, so tasty... love the middle eastern food.

actually, the way it really happened was this: i got there at 3:00, waited a while, ended up ordering for both of us, while waiting for my cute, but notoriously late, friend, who showed up at 3:30... :)

afterwards, jenna says, "let's take a walk!"
and we did. in fact, we took the most expensive walk i've ever taken.

we hadn't even walked half a block on 5th ave when we passed this little boutique, flirt. we both stopped, squealed a little, and decided to just "take a look."
that look turned into us gushing over cute dress after cute dress, and eventually buying matching argyle t-shirts, $26 each. it's all good, we figure - $26 ain't bad.

next stop was practically on the same damn block: an organic body products shop. we chatted about every luscious product in the store, and i ended up with some pretty perfect lemon cypress hand lotion, and henna shampoo. i'm absolutely sure the store owner was arab, as he chuckled at our "yallah"s and "haram"s. but he didn't say a word. :)

by then, we're roasting and in need of some sit-down environment with A/C plus something cool and refreshing. we spot a frozen yogurt shop called oko. bingo. that'll hit the spot.
it turns out they make frozen yogurt "greek-style," which to me means that it tastes like really really cold laban, which means it's definitely perfect. we get cups of the 'original' topped with organic raspberries. am i in heaven? probably.

then, it's time for the serious shopping. yes, this is what we've been working towards, the ultimate in spending territory: these few blocks around union st. & 5th ave that seem to utterly contain every kind of clothes shopping we could want. brooklyn industries, for pricey hoodies. beacon's closet, for stuff somebody else has already worn. and our pick for today, something else, stock full of hot jeans, unique tops, and a million dresses.

umm, yeah. this could get overwhelming.
and it does, but luckily i have jenna with me, who is simultaneously like a shot of self-esteem boost, and also the worst influence ever, because she convinces me that a pair of jeans that make your butt look amazing are completely worth the cost. and maybe they are. heck, it's an investment. i'll wear 'em every day, won't i? mm hm. ring 'em up.

at this point i have decided that park slope is either (a) the place that will be my demise, or (b) the neighborhood i am dying to live in. i mean, really. how can so many adorable things be in one area?! i have to live here!

look, i've already planned it out in my head: i'll live in a brownstone on a tree-lined street with my boyfriend and our cute, hypothetical dog, whom i shall name whitman, after the great walt. i obviously have to have a great job, to afford this place. but i'll worry about that later. :) i'll work out at the bikram yoga studio, we'll go to brunch on sundays, and eventually we'll push a maclaren stroller with a wee little one in organic cotton onesies.

is it me, or does that sound fucking fantastic?

***

it's getting close to 7:00 and we're done for the day. it's hot, we've spent a lot of money, and i have packing to do. i bid jenna farewell and start my 1.5 mile trek home.. i mean, it's not that far, and it's great for your legs but man is it way too hot for this. :)

i walk up through park slope, east into prospect heights, and then further east into my neighborhood. as i walk i notice some profound changes, just as i cross underhill avenue, less than three avenue blocks away from where i live.

i hadn't thought much about my surroundings, as they all looked pretty awesome to me, but then i cross underhill and it seems stark and sudden.

reality check. when compared to the rest of the world, miss rula, you're pretty damn rich.

here, the entire demographic and setting have changed -
from young yuppie couples, many with strollers, to entire families, and multiple generations on the street.
from the aura of cooler-than-thou, where hipsters barely spare a glance, to 60-yr-old men catcalling me.. lady in red, hey beautiful, look at that smile.
from lush trees and brownstones and smooth sidewalks, to peeling paint and cracked surfaces and baring trunks.

from white people, to black.

from relatively rich, to poor.

and it reminds me where i live. it reminds me that my home here truly does sit right smack in crown heights... not the prospect heights fondly referred to by brokers. i live in a neighborhood with an extremely high poverty level, with drug pushers, with very personal crimes on the next block.

c'mon, this is brooklyn, you say. what'd you expect? this is why i spend $1700 on my tiny walk-up in the village!

yes, but can you experience the things i do here? can you see the face of new york beyond the gloss and the smugly high prices and the eyesore condo high-rises?

can you see new york for what it is - an incredible array of people from every walk, every lifestyle, every advantage or disadvantage? a place that makes or breaks you?

i may have my fantasies of an idyllic life in park slope, but the fact is that, for me, it is impossible to remain oblivious here. and that is why i don't know if i'd be ok living that way, especially with the likelihood of self-absorbed neighbors raising their toddlers to feel entitled. because, what, you happen to be well-off? no matter how good things are, i can't just ignore what's around me.

so i'm saved from a guilt trip.
i tell myself it's ok to laze around on a sunday, because hey, at least you get it, right? you're not that spoiled -- because you know what it's like for the impoverished around you, right? you can put yourself in their shoes... right?

right.